The Lord said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites: ‘Any man or woman who wrongs another in any way and so is unfaithful to the Lord is guilty and must confess the sin they have committed. They must make full restitution for the wrong they have done, add a fifth of the value to it and give it all to the person they have wronged. But if that person has no close relative to whom restitution can be made for the wrong, the restitution belongs to the Lord and must be given to the priest, along with the ram with which atonement is made for the wrongdoer.'”
I have a little book at home called Daily Wisdom, where one of the great religious leaders of the 20th Century, Menachem Mendel Schneerson, known as the Lubavitcher Rebbe, comments on passages from the Torah. To this passage you have just heard from the Book of Numbers in the Old Testament, he writes the following:
If we have wronged a fellow human being in some way, we must first ask their forgiveness; then we must restore the item or pay for any damage we have caused. Then we must apologise to G-d, through repentance. Repentance consists of three steps:
- Regret for the past
- Positive resolution for the future and
- Verbal confession to G-d for the misdeed.
For me, this chain of events feels very natural – if you harm somebody in any way, say sorry; ask for forgiveness; and commit to putting it right. But to many people now, that is simply not seen as practical. Let’s take two examples. You are in your car, turning right into a driveway, chatting to your friend in the passenger seat as you do so, almost home, and you completely miss the fact that another car is approaching, and, as you turn, you collide. Both cars are damaged; the people involved are shaken up; one has broken a leg. You know you are at fault – and yet, some people’s wisdom says, “You can show all the sympathy you like, but don’t apologise, as that is an admission of guilt. You must not admit guilt because that is for others to decide, like insurance companies, maybe even law courts. If you admit it, you lose”. This, believe it or not, is the way that some people think.
Another example. Diego Maradona scored an infamous goal against England in a World Cup quarterfinal – with his hand. He knew it. So did most others. But it was for somebody else to judge. The referee did not see it, and the goal stood. The goal was televised in slow motion, yet even then, Maradona did not admit guilt or say sorry. Indeed, it happens every day in football and sport more widely. The referee is left to decide, despite the fact that the player knows exactly what has happened, but would never admit to being in the wrong.
There are, of course, wonderful examples of the opposite happening. In the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, sprinter Shawn Crawford was representing the US in the 200-metre sprint. He finished in fourth place, just outside the medals, but soon found out that the second and third-place finishers had both been disqualified. The reason for their disqualification was that they had stepped on the lines at the edge of their lanes during the race. Crawford, who was duly awarded the silver medal, was dismayed by the harshness of the judges’ decision and decided for himself that his competitors had been better than he was on the day, and handed his silver medal instead directly to the runner who had crossed the line second.
One sport is even set up specifically with this sort of sportsmanship in mind – ultimate frisbee is self-refereed, so the players decide on rule infringements, and it relies on honesty. It works extremely well. This spirit is encapsulated in rules 9 and 10 of the game, which state that:
Rule 9: Players are responsible for their own calls, such as fouls, out-of-bounds and possession calls. Players resolve their own disputes and find a fair outcome using the rules and Spirit of the Game.
Rule 10: Ultimate Frisbee stresses fair-play and fair-mindedness on players. Competitive play is encouraged but never at the expense of respect for all players, safety, adherence to the rules and the joy of playing.
Now, you might think, it’s all very well owning up, apologising where needed, confessing to mistakes, admitting guilt: but, well, frankly, what is in all this for me?
Well, the Lubavitcher Rebbe deals with this in his commentary on the Bible passage you heard. He says this:
Every misdeed creates negative energy, which has a body and a soul. The body of this negative energy is the misdeed itself, whilst its soul is the lust that caused the misdeed and accompanied it. Feeling regret for having committed a misdeed destroys the soul of the negative energy; confessing verbally – physically using our mouths – destroys the body of the negative energy.
The Chaplain at one of the schools I worked in put it in a slightly different way: “By doing harm to others, you only really do harm to yourself.” You, therefore, need to act quickly and wholeheartedly to relieve that harm. If you do wrong to somebody, admit it, apologise and put it right – it will bring great benefits not only to the victim but also to the perpetrator.