How Not to Screw Up Your Kids: Insights from Our Parent Partnership Talk

Saturday 21 September saw our first Parent Partnership talk of the academic year given by the renowned psychologist, podcaster and parenting expert, Dr Maryhan.

Dr Maryhan’s talk titled, “How Not to Screw up Your Kids” offered practical advice and real-life insights into the world of parenting a teenager.

At the start of her talk, Dr Maryhan explained that the age-old adage, “It takes a village to raise a child,” holds profound truth in today’s interconnected world. However, this village extends beyond immediate family to include schools, communities, organisations and parents working collectively to nurture resilient adults.

An important point raised was the recognition that boys and girls are different in their socialisation and developmental trajectories and understanding these differences is vital for providing appropriate support and guidance tailored to each child’s needs.

Dr Maryhan drew an insightful analogy, comparing the process of raising resilient adults to constructing a building. The foundation represents the core values and principles instilled in children from an early age. The scaffolding symbolises the responsive support provided by parents, educators and the community, catching any falling debris or timber along the way. Ultimately, children are the architects of their own lives, choosing the type of building they want to create, with the village there to support and respond to their needs. The focus on boys was both enlightening and powerful, and also in alignment with the school’s mission of developing the young man within. Her points further highlighted the numerous benefits of single-sex education, such as fostering strong friendships and providing positive male role models in a variety of circumstances.

Dr Maryhan’s talk was extremely helpful and engaging for parents of teenage boys. Drawing from her extensive experience as a parent, her professional work, and her excellent podcast, she shared nine practical tips for parents to use when navigating their son through adolescence. These tips included having difficult conversations, emphasising the importance of discussing feelings, and the value of listening without always trying to fix things for our children. She also highlighted the lessons that can be learnt from ‘failing’ in terms of building resilience, the necessity of setting appropriate boundaries, and the importance of avoiding gender stereotypes. In addition, she advised parents to avoid micromanaging and offered strategies which might encourage boys to contribute to household responsibilities.

The event concluded with an interactive question and answer session, where parents had the opportunity to ask specific questions and share their personal experiences. This segment was particularly valuable, as it allowed for specific problem-solving and support from other parents.

With financial support from the Parent’s Guild, Mrs Fiona Whiteman, who leads the Parent Partnership, explained, “Supporting parents is crucial to the success of our boys, and we were thrilled to host Dr Maryhan for our latest Parent Partnership talk. Her insights and practical advice have left a lasting impact on our community, empowering parents to navigate the complexities of modern parenting with confidence and compassion. This talk is just one of the many ways we strive to build a strong, collaborative community focused on the well-being of our boys.”

Throughout the year we are hosting more such events to continue to support our parent community. If you missed this talk, please do look out for upcoming sessions and resources.

Here is what parents had to say following the talk: